好的英文作文一定得要深刻嗎？分享三封美國老教授寫給中國家長的信

提到孩子的英文寫作，不少寶爸寶媽就頭疼。孩子要么拿到題目就抓瞎，要么洋洋灑灑缺乏邏輯，再或者語法錯誤連篇，表達(dá)不規(guī)范，多半也往往達(dá)不到我們心里預(yù)期的“有深度”。

到底寫作難在哪里，好作文的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)又是什么呢？

我有幸認(rèn)識了一位非常有心的寫作老師，他是加利福尼亞州立大學(xué)副教授。因為是學(xué)藝術(shù)史出身，在過去的26年里，他一直在大學(xué)里教藝術(shù)系的學(xué)生如何鑒賞藝術(shù)作品，然后將自己的理解和分析組織成文。

另我比較意外的是，一直以來，我們焦慮的家長視為不認(rèn)真、水平不行的中國孩子，他卻贊譽有加，甚至不止一次提到，中國孩子的勤奮和寫作能力對比他所教的美國孩子來說，都讓他刮目相看。

作為一位老師，他對每一個所教授的中國孩子都傾注了超乎尋常的關(guān)注和關(guān)心，也在教學(xué)之余，思考著如何能與孩子的家長一起幫助孩子成長，所以他常常給家長們寫信。我挑選了其中三封分享給大家，希望對孩子們的寫作有所幫助。

James老師

★ 加州大學(xué)伯克利分校藝術(shù)史專業(yè)學(xué)士，倫敦大學(xué)考陶爾德藝術(shù)學(xué)院藝術(shù)史專業(yè)碩士

★ 26年藝術(shù)史和英語寫作教學(xué)經(jīng)驗

★ 加利福尼亞州立大學(xué)副教授，教授美國文化與藝術(shù)、英文寫作等課程

★ 藝術(shù)評論家，發(fā)表過2000多篇藝術(shù)、戲劇和電影評論文章

01

第一封信，James老師談到了寫作“思路”的重要性，語言可以慢慢磨練，但學(xué)會思考，孩子就可以寫好任何一種作文。
 

Dear Parents of Students in the "Great Writing #3 - From Great Paragraphs to Great Essays" class.

親愛的寫作課學(xué)生家長，你們好！

I'm writing to explain how I'm teaching this class. I've told this to the students but I think it's important for parents to know this, as well.

我想寫一封信跟大家說說我是怎么教這門課的。我在課上跟學(xué)生其實也說過了，但是我覺得最好跟各位家長們也匯報一下，因為這非常重要。

I don't think of this as a beginning to English class. The students already have a good, sometimes great, grasp of English.

我認(rèn)為這門課其實不能算是入門課程，因為學(xué)生們的英語程度都已經(jīng)非常好了。

Instead, I'm teaching the students how to think. I'm teaching them how to construct paragraphs and then apply to various kinds of essays like compare-contrast, description, narrative, et cetera. Then, once they master that, I'm teaching them how to expand paragraphs into essays. I use a metaphor: paragraphs are the bricks of a wall, the bricks are the essay.

所以，其實我更注重的是教學(xué)生們?nèi)绾嗡伎?。我會教他們?nèi)绾谓M織段落，并將這些段落運用在比較類、描述類、敘述類等各種類型的作文中，當(dāng)他們掌握了段落的寫法，我再教他們把段落擴展為整篇作文。我是這樣比喻的：段落就像砌墻的磚塊，作文就是砌好的墻。

If they know how to think before they write, they'll be able to write any kind of essay. The homework is timed. They have 40- minutes to do each assignment. I believe this is very good practice for learning how to write high school and college essays under the pressure of a time deadline. That's also why I stress the importance of making an outline before beginning to write. By taking a little bit of time to think before they write by making an outline, it will make the writing that much easier and much more effective.

如果學(xué)生們知道下筆之前如何思考，他們就能寫好任何一種作文。我們布置的作業(yè)是要求孩子在40分鐘內(nèi)完成的，因為他們高中和大學(xué)考試的時候?qū)懽魑氖怯袝r間限制的，我相信這是非常好的操練。這也是為什么我要求學(xué)生們一定要先列提綱再寫作文，寫作文之前先花一點時間思考，你后面的寫作將更加順利和高效。

That's why I'm focusing my grading on their thinking, on whether they at least have an essay with good structure. They'll learn English by reading long after this class ends. By teaching them how to think (in English, in Chinese), I think they'll be able to apply what they're learned in a much better way.

我在給學(xué)生打分的時候，也主要看的是他們的思路，文章結(jié)構(gòu)組織得好不好。至于他們的英語，隨著閱讀量的增加，一定會慢慢進(jìn)步的，而我們這門課，主要是教孩子們梳理思路，幫助他們以后更好地應(yīng)用。

That's why I tend to give Excellents when I grade if the students have structured their essays in a good manner.

所以，如果孩子作文體現(xiàn)出比較好的思路，我一般都會給他們“優(yōu)秀”，就此跟各位家長們解釋一下。

I hope this clarifies things for you. Please don't hesitate to contact me through Pepper if you have any questions. I'm always available.

如果大家有任何問題，歡迎大家跟助教Pepper提問，我隨時樂意為大家解答。

Best regards,

祝好，

James

02

第二封信，James老師強調(diào)了寫完作文之后編輯和修改的重要性，很多語言上的問題其實通過這個步驟都可以改正過來。
 

Greetings everyone!

各位家長好！

I'm in the process of reading the Process essays as well as getting set to formulate final grades.

我正在閱讀學(xué)生們的Process essay作文，同時準(zhǔn)備給他們打一個最終的分?jǐn)?shù)。

As I re-read your earlier essays, I've realized one thing. It has nothing to do with your analysis, structure, and content of your essays. Those are fine. It has to do with your language.

當(dāng)我重讀孩子們之前的作文時，我發(fā)現(xiàn)一件事：他們作文的分析、結(jié)構(gòu)和內(nèi)容都沒問題，問題出在語言上。

As I said at the end of our last class, a lot of language issues can easily be fixed by editing. As I mentioned last week, write the essay, as you always do. Then, set it aside. Ideally, you can set it aside overnight, so you can sleep on it, as we say. Otherwise, a hour or two is fine.

就像我之前在最后一節(jié)課說過的，很多語言上的問題是可以通過再次編輯輕松修改好的。大家可以寫好作文后，放一放，比如睡一覺起來再檢查一遍，或者過一兩個小時再來看。

Then come to it, not as a writer, but as an editor. Pretend that someone else wrote it. Focus, not on the ideas, the content, the structure. Focus, instead, on the language. Look for those pesky run-on sentences. Make sure that your noun and verb agree with each other. Those are the two biggest issues I found with your work. The good news is, these issues can be easily be remedied by editing.

當(dāng)你重新看自己的作文時，不要把自己當(dāng)做寫作者，把自己當(dāng)成編輯，假裝文章是別人寫的。要重點看的不是思想內(nèi)容或結(jié)構(gòu)，而是語言。找出那些錯誤的斷句，確認(rèn)名詞和動詞單復(fù)數(shù)是否一致，這兩個是我在大家的作文中發(fā)現(xiàn)最多的問題，好在這些都是通過編輯很容易改正的。

Think of it like this. When you write, you're wearing a beret or a hat that suggests that you're a creative person. When you edit, wear one of those visors that accounts (At least American accountants) sometimes wear.

試著這樣想：當(dāng)你寫作時，你戴著一頂貝雷帽，這代表你是一個有創(chuàng)造性的作家；當(dāng)你審校時，你戴的是一頂（美國會計常戴的）鴨舌帽，這代表你需要嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)。

Writing and editing are two entirely different thought processes. I can appreciate how, if you're busy, it's hard to not do the essay at the last minute. Still, I will guarantee that, if you spend a little time going over your essay afterwards as an accountant and not a poet, you will write superior English essays in no time.

寫作和編輯是兩個完全不同的思維過程。我知道大家都很忙，所以常常在最后一刻才寫作文，但我向大家保證，如果你們能多花一點點時間——像一名會計一樣，而不是像詩人那樣——檢查和修改自己的作文，你會很快就完成一篇優(yōu)秀的英語作文。

If you have any questions or comments, please inform Pepper. She'll pass comments on to me. Then I'll get back to you, okay?

如果大家有任何問題或建議，歡迎向Pepper反映，她會轉(zhuǎn)達(dá)我，我很樂意為大家解答。

Thanks, guys, it's been a pleasure and an honor!

Best wishes!

謝謝你們，很榮幸與大家一起度過了愉快的八次寫作課，祝你們一切都好！

James

03

最后一封信，James老師回答了一位家長的疑問。這位家長提出了一個在寫作領(lǐng)域經(jīng)常被問到的一個問題：如何讓孩子的寫作立意深刻？James老師指出，清晰地表達(dá)自己的觀點比立意深刻更重要。

Dear ***’s mother,

親愛的家長，

Thank you for writing to Pepper. I’m glad that you’re so concerned about ***'s education. She’s a gifted student.

謝謝您給Pepper寫信，我很高興您對孩子的教育非常關(guān)心，您的孩子是一個有天賦的學(xué)生。

The way I teach writing is this. I first get the students to think clearly. I ask them to have an idea of what they want to say (a thesis statement) and then formulate evidence to back up whatever they’re saying. The thesis statement + the evidence = an ARGUMENT, which means the proving of a point.

我是這樣教寫作的。首先，我會讓學(xué)生清晰地思考，想好自己想說的是什么（中心論點），然后構(gòu)想出證據(jù)來支撐你的想法。中心論點+證據(jù)=一個論點的論證（Argument）。

That’s the important thing here, thinking and writing clearly, making sure that what they want to write is indeed what they end up writing.

這就是非常重要的一點——清晰地思考和寫作，確保寫出來的東西是自己真正想表達(dá)的。

Profound ideas are good, but they’re not required. The ideas in an essay come from the type of essay (Description. Narrative. Compare/contrast. Process, et cetera.) and the subject matter of the essay. Not all essays result in profound ideas but in clearly expressed ones. I'd rather have students express themselves clearly and sincerely, and not try to be PROFOUND.

深刻的思想很好，但不是必須。一篇作文的思想內(nèi)容來自于文章的類型（描述型、敘述型、比較型、過程型等等）和主題。不是所有的作文一定都會有深刻的思想，但一定要清晰地表達(dá)出來。我寧可讓學(xué)生做到清晰和真誠地表達(dá)自己，而不是努力表現(xiàn)地很深刻。

For instance, *** wrote a lovely essay about why you and your husband are her heroes. It’s simply stated and well-written. It’s full of love for the two of you. That, to my way of thinking, is a VERY profound thing to write. It’s monumental in its simplicity.

例如，您的孩子寫了一篇非?？蓯鄣淖魑?，講述您和您的丈夫是她的英雄，很簡單，但寫得很好，充滿了對您二位的愛。在我看來，這就是非常深刻的一個內(nèi)容，極為天真樸素。

I hope this makes sense. If you want to talk, please let Pepper know and I’ll be available after class.

我希望以上說明對您有用。如果您想跟我再聊一聊，請跟Pepper說，我上完課有時間。

Best regards,

祝好，

James